As the festive season approaches, we can all feel the inevitable stress of increasing demands. Whether it’s the pressure of creating the ‘perfect Christmas’, the overwhelming (and never ending) Black Friday and Cyber Monday deals that make ‘shopping’ have a deadline to get the best deals, the heated family debates about who goes where this year or the organising of the food, and ensuring we bag ourselves a turkey in time - it’s safe to say that this time of year can be emotionally disregulating.  For many of us, we’re also so used to just ‘fitting in’ to life’s chaotic hustle and bustle that it just becomes ‘normal’ of us to keep up the people-pleasing and checking off of our never ending ‘to-do’ lists - and we can end up completely bypassing the fact that we are having ‘mood swings’, and just feeling extremely burned out.

There are also many other reasons why we might be experiencing mood swings - from our hormones to our diet (oh hello, sugary mince pies!), to lack of sleep, or even the weather.  And so, this December - when it can be even more tempting to ignore the underlying signs of emotional dysregulation - we thought it would be powerful to explore essential oils that can help us to stay regulated this winter season and lean into a little more self-care this Christmas (which is often more vital than we think).

What is ‘emotional dysregulation’?

Emotional dysregulation is actually classed as a ‘mental health’ challenge - though I actually see it as our body letting us know that it’s time to slow down and tune inwards and provide ourselves a little self-care.  How it can feel is as an inability to manage or react to our emotions - perhaps they might begin to burst out or perhaps we might keep them in and feel really overloaded. Either way, it can create intense emotional responses that feel unlike the normal ‘us’.  Some examples of ‘emotional dysregulation’ might include:

• Feeling our mood swing from one extreme to another
• Feeling irritable
• Feeling angry
• Feeling anxious
• Feeling frustrated
• Feeling shame
• Feeling depressed, low or suicidal.

And so, whilst we sometimes joke that Christmas can feel ‘stressful’, it actually can really impact our lives and wreak havoc with our emotions.  Aromatherapy however, can help us slow down, tune in, and create some space for our emotions at this busy time of year.  So, let’s begin to break it down into the 5 top ‘December-related’ causes of mood swings - and which essential oils can be supportive to help us regulate our (often highly charged!) emotions this season, along with ways we can work with aromatherapy to support.

Essential oils for stress-related emotional regulation

At Christmas, one of the most common reasons for emotional dysregulation is stress.  We can so often beat ourselves up (adding extra layers of shame) for having extreme emotions - things like anger, depression and anxiety can be increased at this time of year, and it actually makes so much sense given the added pressures.  

Essential oils that are relaxants can be very calming and restorative for helping with this, and the process of working with essential oils can also feel relaxing, if we combine it into a much-needed self-care routine.

Here are some stress-reducing oils:

• Bergamot - a cheery, sweet and fruity oil, known for its relaxing, calming effects
• Lavender - the most popular essential oil, this floral is known for being very relaxing
• Chamomile (Roman) - an intense, herby, fruity floral, this is particularly stress-reducing

Essential oils for diet-related mood swings

On the lead up to festivities, our diet also often changes, which can impact our emotional regulation more than we give it credit for.  Those mince pies, the chocolates in the office, the hot chocolates, and the mulled wine might look innocent, but they can really play havoc with our mood as our blood sugar raises and drops more than normal.  

Essential oils that help us regulate our blood sugar are:

• Grapefruit - a tangy, citrusy oil, this is a detoxifying oil that also helps us feel less drawn to sugary things!
• Cinnamon - a perfect mood regulator for Christmas, with its spicy festive scent, this oil can calm the digestive system, and some studies link it with regulation of insulin (the hormone that regulates our blood sugar)
• Clove - a warm, spicy woody scent, Clove is restorative and also good for oxidative stress (aka when the body doesn’t have enough anti-oxidants to battle free-radicals)

Essential oils for lack of sleep-related dysregulation

When we are busy playing “catch up” on all the things we have to do, we can also suffer with our sleep.  I know, personally, when I’ve not had enough sleep I feel immensely emotionally dysregulated and it can impact in all the ways - especially showing up for me as internal ‘warning signs’ of ‘anger’ and ‘frustration’.  For those of you with a list of things in your mind, who are feeling dysregulated and suffering insomnia, there are some wonderful essential oils to support.

Here are some ‘sleep-inducing’ oils to help soothe those emotions:

• Vetivert - an earthy, woody aroma, this oil is known as the ‘tranquillity’ oil - perfect for soothing the nervous system and helping with insomnia
• Neroli - a sweet floral oil, this insomnia-busting oil is powerfully relaxing and an emotional-regulation all-rounder
• Mandarin (Green) - a sweet, light, citrusy oil, this one has sedative properties that can help sleep regulation

Essential oils for mood changes related to fluctuating hormones

Hormone fluctuations can really impact us in winter as our body responds to the change in the external environment (cold, darkness, etc).  Naturally, our body wants to go ‘inwards’ and slow down (think of hibernation) and our hormones will respond to this. And we know that our hormones are chemical messengers that impact our bodies - including emotions, mood, and mental health. This means that hormonal regulation is vital this winter.

Here are some hormone-balancing oils:

• Geranium - a sweet floral oil, this one helps to regulate hormones - especially having an affinity with the female system - and balance the emotions
• Rose - a beautiful floral oil, this is hormone-regulating and especially helpful for mood swings and emotional issues
• Clary Sage - a dry, musky floral, this oil had a euphoric effect, as well as being balancing for hormones

Essential oils for weather-related mood dips

Finally, as the weather changes, our mood can begin to alter.  In the UK, we have a lot of rain and greyness, especially - and the nights get longer, and days shorter, which can mean there’s a lowering of our mood.  If we think of things like seasonal affective disorder (SAD), which is caused by less sunshine, it’s easy to see that our mood can dip in December.

Here are some 'sunny' mood-boosting essential oils:

• Lemon - a sweet, fresh oil, this one is especially uplifting and anti-depressant, making it a cheery oil for winter
• Sweet Orange - a fruity, sweet oil that uplifts and helps low mood, this is beneficial for the cold season
• Lemongrass - a more earthy citrus aroma, this oil is a restorative and uplifting tonic for low-mood.

How to create an emotionally-regulating aromatherapy blend

We can so often get caught up in our ‘to-dos’ and the sense of ‘perfection’ that it feels liberating to invite you into creating your own blends for this.  There’s no getting this ‘right’ here - we want quick and easy, in our busy lives.

So, my advice this festive season is to scan the categories above to see what is creating your low mood and choose 3 oils that you love the scent of.  

Then, let’s keep it simple, so you can actually integrate this into your life this busy festive period:

Christmas Emotional Regulation Diffusion Blend:

Each day, pick your 3 favourite oils from those shared above, and pop them into a diffuser each morning (or nighttime, for our sleepy time oils!). Add up to 6 drops (total) of your favourite 3 oils into some water in your electrical diffuser or candle burner and diffuse into the room you’re in, for 30 minutes at a time as desired.

Christmas Bath Pamper Blend:

If you’re also willing to carve out some time for yourself (which I’d recommend if you’re suffering emotional dysregulation), you could also create a bath blend:

Mix up to 6 drops (total) of your favourite 3 oils from above into 15ml of Bath Oil or SLS Free Shower Gel and add to the running warm water of your bath. Close the windows/doors, turn your phone onto silent and lie back and inhale the aromas, letting them work their magic.

A personal favourite Christmassy Massage Blend:

If you want to enjoy a bit more relaxation, you could also mix some oil to massage into your body:

Try mixing 3 drops Sweet Orange, 2 drops Geranium and 1 drop Cinnamon in 15ml of carrier oil and massage into the body in the direction towards the heart.  If you have sensitive skin, substitute Cinnamon for an alternative oil - you can also substitute all oils for others, if you prefer.

It’s helpful to remember that, of course, if you’re suffering emotional dysregulation all year round it could also be a sign of underlying trauma that wants to be processed - or something else - so if this is a longer-term thing, I’d recommend noticing that and working with someone ‘holistically’ to support a deeper healing process.

Happy blending and regulating, this festive season. Merry Christmas!

Nicole Barton
Consultant Aromatherapist

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